What NOT to say as a direct seller! How to Reach Your Goals the right way.

Building Relationships, Sales Strategy | 4 comments

Today let’s talk about something that I hear time and time again as a major struggle. As a direct sales leader, I get DM’s and PM’s and messages of all sorts each day from direct sellers that are THE. WORST.  Please tell me that I’m not the only one that got that “hey girl” message or that gross “buy my stuff” message before someone has even introduced themselves. Barf. Really. Don’t. Just, don’t be “that girl”. 

Or,  I hear from someone new in direct sales tell me that they’re struggling. My first response is always to ask to see a screenshot of how they are approaching potential customers. I usually cringe with what I see next: verbal diarrhea. But, here’s the thing: we’re learning and finding the right words is a skill that takes time to develop. Let me help you fast-track your approach with some do’s and don’ts. 

The golden question is: What Do I Say?! 

I want to invite someone to a party, but…

I think I know someone who’d love my product, but…

There’s someone I know that would be great on my team, but…

I don’t know what to say.

Do you feel this way?

How do you say what you want to say without sounding too aggressive, spammy, and awkward?!

Well, first you have to know that you HAVE to ask for that sale, that booking, that team member.  Reality is these things won’t just happen without putting yourself out there.

Next, I’ve been around the direct sales industry for a while now, and I’ve noticed some things that happen time and time again that are huge barriers to getting a yes when you DO ask. Today let’s talk about these mistakes (so you can avoid them)! And, as always, I’m also sharing my best solutions! So, let’s dive in. 

3 problems to avoid (that happen a lot) and solutions! 


1. Problem: Over talking!

You love your product so it’s so easy to just talk and talk and talk about it. But, reality is that’ll probably freak people out. 

Solution: Ask a question, then (PAUSE) and Listen!

When we listen, we can hear what people need. And that’s really what it’s all about. We are providing our product to fill a need.  


2. Problem: Speaking out of character. 

When you take a template that you were provided and just copy and paste, it sounds CANNED! Because it is! It doesn’t sound like you and that makes it super awkward. Awkward for the receiver, but most likely a little awkward for you to even send. Because it doesn’t sound like you! 

Solution: Speak like you! 

Take time to update templates to how you talk! Make it conversational and natural. 


3. Problem: Asking someone you have ZERO (recent) relationship with to buy your stuff!

DO NOT reach out to that old friend you haven’t spoken to in say 20ish years and ask them to buy your stuff! You want to talk to a lot of people, and you may feel desperate for contacts. But, when you ask someone to buy that you don’t have a real relationship with, it’ll be super spammy to the receiver of the message. 

Solution: Build a relationship before ASKING

Be intentional to build a relationship before you ask. Have real conversations with people. Be authentic. Not because you want something, but because you have a product that can fill their needs. And because well, relationships are really what life is all about!


HOT Tips!

AFTER you’ve built a relationship and you are ready to ask, here are three things to remember:

  1. Be authentic.
  2. Open a conversation with back and forth BEFORE you ask.
  3. Make sure there is a clear ask. You need to be clear with your ask so make sure you end with a question asking for a response like:
    I have (this), do you want to check it out?
    Do you want an invite? 
  4. Remember, people are busy and need reminders. It’s thoughtful to reach out again if you don’t get a response initially. 


Don’t be that girl! Seriously.

Don’t be that girl, the one that’s sending COLD messages to someone you’ve never talked to before. It’s spammy and there is a better way! 

And frankly, when we do these things–it gives our industry a bad name. 

I encourage you to take a little extra time and incorporate these solutions. You will see a big difference in the way people respond to you, which will give you greater growth in your business.

My hope is to bring back authenticity to the direct sales industry! And that starts with each of us.  

Need a little more direction with your messaging? Hop on over to the Facebook group for a thread with tons of messaging help for inspiration! 



  1. Jennifer Duronio

    On point, Becky! I get these cold DMs all the time, and it casts us all in a negative light.

    • Jenna

      It’s so so true!

  2. Carol Beal

    Great tips! I struggle with each of these. Now, I have these problems on my list ALONG WITH how to change them. Thanks, Becky.

    • Jenna

      Your are so welcome Carol! Glad we could help you!


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Two pages of the Direct Sales Insights Survey laid on top of each other

Direct Sales Insights SurveyReport

Enter your name and email address to get your copy of the full report!

Check your inbox to confirm your email address and download the report! If you don't see the email in a few minutes make sure to check your spam folder.

75 Captions that Convert + 15 Bonus Graphics

Enter your name and email address to download!

Check your inbox to download 75 Captions that Convert! If you don't see the email in a few minutes make sure to check your spam folder.

Pin It on Pinterest